Oh hells...Ibiza!

Ibiza sucks, it does the most terrible things to a person. We did catch our plane in Madrid! Caught a bus from the train station to the airport- got quite the scenic bus tour of madrid lol. But from what we did see it was a beautiful city, much more so than barco. Planes really are terrible with all the hours you spend waiting in the airports, I will forever be grateful for the train system throughout Europe! However we did make use of duty free and purchased 4 bottles. Once we landed in Ibiza we had to catch a bus to take us to the city San Antonio in the nw corner of the island. Some Scottish guys were also on the bus just hammered and were talkin to us the whole 45 minute ride to San antonion. They were so funny but super hard to understand! The actual inner land of Ibiza is so not attractive, makes the place seem like a shithole but the coastlines are gorgeous. We finally made it to our new residence, hostal montaña, a nice family run hotel. They really liked sam and I and were so nice- little did they know what was coming... So straight away we started boozing- were in Ibiza, that's just what you do there. The island is a melting pot of English folk during the summer, no joke the entire country of England practically heads there for summer holidays- or at least the 18-30 year olds. Across the street from us was another hotel and sam and I met some English guys who invited us to go to the club with them. We must have took too long to get ready bc by the time we made it outside they were already gone, oops. So we just decided to have a good ole randi-sam party. Go figure. So we spent the night out on the patio having a rockin good time. 

The next morning we had breakfast and were hangin out on the balcony again figuring out what we wanted to do that day. We end up seeing those English guys again and when they asked what happened to us we told them they were already gone by the time we got out there but we headed to the club anyways- bc really I think it might be illegal to say you went to Ibiza and drank all night with your one other friend in the hotel room! So they invited us over to their hotel to go to the pool. We ended up deciding not to bc we didn't know how we would answer any questions about the club! So instead we went to the sister hotel of ours and played ping pong all afternoon and went swimming in the pool... Once again just us two, hangin out boozing. We did make a friend there tho, another English guy- go figure. Then he whips out some powder and snorts it haha right in the open. I can't remember what it was, something I have never heard of before. And don't worry, when he offered sam and me some we kindly rejected. So that afternoon we decided to head to bora bora, a club on the beach in Ibiza town. We got there around 5pm and it was just nuts! People partying everywhere just like any spring break beach. So we joined along with the festivities. These two people selling club tickets came up to us and asked if we were together, naturally were like yeah- we were hanging out talking with one another. So they snipe us into buying club tickets for the next three nights-TERRIBLE idea little did we know. So it's about 10pm by now and we decide to go home to change- it's like a 45 minute bus ride nothing quick. We finally catch the bus after changing to go back to Ibiza town and on the way we see all sorts of billboards advertising the club we bought tickets for for that night. Some weird pics were on most like of drag queens but one billboard finally did it in and connected all the dots for us 'europes biggest gay party of the summer!' ahh so that's why they asked if we were 'together'. So we decide oh well let's go rock it, gay guys are good dancers, it will be fun. 

So we get to the area where we were all supposed to meet and a bus would take us to the club. But surprise surprise sam and I rock up late. The bouncer at the bar helped us out tho and gave us a pass to get into the club so all we had to do was catch a bus there. The two smart ones that we are couldn't find the bus and the taxis were all full. So we kinda just hung around and talked to other lost souls. We were even approached by ppl who openly said they were illegal taxis and could take us- yeah f*** that idea. Taken? I finally catch us a cabbie to bring us to amnesia, was a real cool guy. The club started out great, thought I was dancing with a neat 'gay' guy until he grabbed my face and tried to rape it. I finally got SAMs attention and we ran to a different part of the club. This time I was for sure I was dancing with a gay guy cuz we danced for ages and then he asked if he could kiss me and I told him no but he just wouldn't let it go. By now I'm just pissed off and we decide to leave but as we are some guy runs up, bear hugs sam and was like marry me! Sam told him to get off her but he wouldn't so I decked him! Don't know where it came from but I was done puttin up with anything more that night lol! We get on the bus to go home and the driver asked me how my night was, I told him fucking terrible and he starts laughin at me and was like 'I could have told you that!'

Decided to do something neat on Thursday so we caught a bus to calla Comte- the most beautiful beach I have ever seen! We hung out there all day, the weather was absolutely gorgeous! Drank screwdrivers, went swimming and bought some ray bans (AKa ray berries) and lounged out. Pretty rough life I would agree. We then went back to our hotel to shower up- I had just gotten out and sam was in the shower when I checked fb and read a message from Ted that said their ferry gets in at 6 and to meet them there.... It was 550. So we hauled it and ran down to the ferry making a pit stop along the way to buy beer- had to welcome them to the island after all! Our reunion was so awesome, big hugs all around! They didn't think we were actually gonna be there to meet them at the port. Ha and they told us that after interlaken they made a bet that the chances of seeing us again was 100% and that the highest anyone on the trip had gotten before that was only 30%. It just so happened to be lukes 21st as well! Sam and I decide we should go to bora bora bc we had free drinks there from 9-midnight and it's a pretty cool place for them to see. We caught the bus and when we got off there just happened to be a carnival across the street. Well placed carnival owner- naturally it draws our attention so we went and played games. It was then too late to go get free drinks so we caught the bus to go to the club- right after we got on the bus sam realized she didn't have her wallet so her and Luke went to get it and we decided to meet at the club. Who are we kidding this club is the biggest club in the world- fat chance of seeing them again. Sam and Luke ended up playing games at the carnival all night bc sam really wanted a giant spongebob and Luke spent loads of money trying to win it even offering the guy money to just buy it- long story short she came home with a medium sized spongebob, a toy motorcycle, and a little bunny. When ted and I were on the bus to the club he was awfully tired (not sober) and asked if he could use my lap as a pillow. Haha so Ted was cashed for the night so I just decided to bring him back to the hotel cuz he would not last two minutes in the club! End up gettin back like an hour later and maybe 30 minutes later sam and Luke rock up- they had all these stories about the games they played and I just didn't realize how they had accomplished to do all that and were already home- I guess a 15 minute cab ride explains it. We had an after party then and royally pissed off the neighbors who kept pounding on the walls. Leave it to Ted to pound back everytime too. 


Friday Ted and I went to the store to get more alcohol and when we walked back in we got Yelled at by the staff- apparently they were getting complaints all night about us. Oops. So they tell me the guys have to go but that Ted could carry the grocery bags upstairs first. So we went upstairs and defying authority, started drinking again. We finally decide to make our way to the beach where we hung out all afternoon and drank way too much. We then decide in all our smartness that to make our friendship legit we are all goin to get piercings together. Long story short, between the four of us, two people walked away with an ear piercing, one with a nipple and one with a tattoo on their ass that says 'oh hells'. That's all I'm goin to say about that one. Use your imagination to try to figure out who got what. 

During this whole experience we somehow lost Ted, he just disappeared. So we looked for him around town and then decided to head back to the hotel, he was surely bound to show up there at some point. We made a plan for me to go in first so I could get the key n for sam and Luke to bolt in a couple minutes after. I got up to the room and heard something in the hallway and when I looked it was Ted! So I got him in the room and then sam and Luke came up and we were all so excited our best friend was found- he didn't kno how he got to the hotel. So of course we decide to just keep celebrating especially after all the smart decisions that had been made by only 5pm that day. I have no idea how many times the staff came up to kick us out that evening haha but we kinda just put that recommendation in the back of our minds. Finally they said they were gonna call the police so Luke and Ted left and found a room at another hotel about a block away. When they came back to get their bags, the owner was standing in the door with his arms crossed. They asked if they could go up and get their bags and he told them 'not now, not ever!' so SAMs and I packed up their stuff and brought the bags down. At the office sam asked if we were being too loud haha and they told us we were too much trouble. They also then informed us that the police had brought Ted there earlier and that he was lucky he didn't get any charges! Oh hells. These poor owners just hated us by now. 

So now it's close to midnight and we head to the new hotel- the owner there wasn't gonna let sam and I up but we told him it would only be five minutes. A half hour later sam and Luke are passed out and I'm bound and determined to go to the club.  So Ted comes out with me and we end up passing by a pizza joint on the walk to the bus and had the most amazing pizza ever! We decided the bus ride to the club would be too tiring so we walked to downtown San Antonio and made friends with some people at a pub and then we went to a club and danced the night away. Ted about got in a fight with someone so I pulled him out and decided we had had enough fun for one day so we went back to the home.

Saturday was our last day together. Sam and I had to go back to our original hotel and clear out the room- talk about having our arms full- we had both our backpacks, two floaties, a ball, a bag full of Ted and luke's things, 5 liters of water, 1 liter of vodka and 1 liter of orange juice. Just looked like turkeys walkin out with all that! We hadnt done much eating there until Saturday, had subway for lunch which was so delicious. Then we got some beer and hung out at the beach all afternoon. Ended up the day getting Kfc for dinner. As a joke Ted asked for shots of vodka but they told us all they had was beer... On tap. Haha since when does Kfc serve alcohol?! Saying ciao to Ted and Luke was very devo but I guess that means a road trip to Canada in the future!